Single or Not: 5 Ways To Spend A Sober Valentine’s Day
/Sober coach Lindsay Hennekey shares some inspiration and ideas for tackling an alcohol-free Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day has a reputation. Sometimes it feels romantic and fun, sometimes it feels heavy, and sometimes it feels like a holiday you are just trying to get through.
What often goes unquestioned is the assumption that alcohol needs to be part of the celebration. Champagne at dinner. Cocktails to “set the mood.” Wine because it is Valentine’s Day, after all.
But that narrative is optional. And if you ask me, if you’re not challenging the narrative, it’s going to be hard to grow into an alcohol free life.
“It’s time to bring your attention back to the people you surround yourself with, or back onto yourself!”
Whether you are celebrating with a partner, friends, or yourself, Valentine’s Day can be meaningful, indulgent, and genuinely enjoyable without alcohol anywhere in the picture. In fact, removing it often creates space for more presence, creativity, and connection. My personal relationship with my husband expanded in the best ways when I quit drinking. Everything I thought at first, was totally wrong. He often points out how much better our lives are since I went alcohol-free.
This is my sixth Valentine’s Day alcohol-free, and what surprised me most is not what I gave up, but what opened up instead. I stopped defaulting to a drink and started being more intentional about how I wanted the day to feel. I used to spend my time focused on how much wine was left in the bottle, or if there was another one to open… It’s time to bring your attention back to the people you surround yourself with, or back onto yourself!
Here are five ways to do the same.
1. Create an At-Home Date That Actually Feels Special
There is nothing wrong with staying in, but the difference is intention. My husband and I spent our first Valentine’s day together in Brighton, England. We ice skated, had an amazing dinner at a place a friend recommended and ever since we have spent our Valentine’s day replicating the seafood paella we had. It’s the most solid tradition we have, and I couldn’t be more grateful for it, even as I’ve moved into an alcohol-free life! So, let’s get into how you can make this your own:
An indoor picnic is one of my favorite ways to do this. Lay out a blanket, pull out real plates, light candles, and play music that feels nostalgic or personal. Treat it like an experience, not a backup plan.
You can cook together, order takeout from a favorite spot, or bring home something indulgent you would not normally splurge on. Pair it with something festive to sip, sparkling, warm, or creative, and let the evening unfold without rushing it.
If time is tight, prep the vibe ahead of time and keep dinner simple. The point is not effort for effort’s sake. The point is making it feel different from an average night at home.
2. Plan a Thoughtful Dinner Out With Non-Alcoholic Options in Mind
If dining out is more your style, a little research goes a long way. And having non-alcoholic spirits or other options is becoming super common at restaurants. Just do a little prep work!
Many restaurants now offer thoughtful non-alcoholic drink menus, or are happy to accommodate creative alternatives if you ask. Look for places that take their beverage program seriously, even when alcohol is not involved. If the place you go doesn’t have a specific mocktail menu, just ASK! Bartenders want to make you happy, especially on a special occasion date night.
Another option is choosing a restaurant that allows you to bring your own drinks. This can open the door to enjoying your favorite alcohol-free option without sacrificing the experience.
Make the reservation, dress up if that feels good, and focus on the food, the conversation, and the atmosphere. You might be surprised how much more grounded and connected the evening feels without alcohol blurring the edges.
3. Lean All the Way Into Cozy
Matching pajamas are not just for the holidays.
A cozy night in with comfort food, a beautiful charcuterie board, and a movie can be deeply satisfying when you let it be intentional instead of incidental.
Build a board with a mix of salty, sweet, crunchy, and indulgent elements. Add a dessert component that feels celebratory. Choose a drink that complements the experience without trying to replicate alcohol.
For the movie, skip the endless scrolling. Pick something meaningful. The first movie you saw together, a favorite rom-com, or something nostalgic that brings up good memories.
This kind of night works just as well solo as it does with a partner. Comfort does not need to be numbing to be enjoyable.
4. Mark the Moment Outdoors
If you crave fresh air and movement, make Valentine’s Day about an experience instead of a meal. Where I live this is a bit challenging with temps hovering around ZERO DEGREES, but if you’re brave, go for it!
A winter hike, long walk, or outdoor adventure followed by a warm or sparkling toast can be incredibly grounding. Bring a thermos with hot chocolate or a favorite alcohol-free drink and take a moment to pause, breathe, and mark the day.
This is especially powerful if you tend to associate celebration with excess. Nature has a way of reminding you that connection does not need to be loud to be meaningful.
Bonus points for packing something sweet to share or enjoying the quiet together before heading home.
5. Give the Gift of Real Rest
Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is create space for rest. Sleep in, honor the hard work you do by giving yourself an extra hour in bed.
A spa day, massage, or sauna session can be a beautiful way to honor the day, whether you are sharing it with someone else or gifting it to yourself. If you are booking for a partner, consider handling the logistics so all they have to do is show up and relax.
If the spa typically offers alcohol as part of the experience, it is worth asking ahead of time about non-alcoholic options. Many places are happy to accommodate, and it sets the tone for a more intentional experience.
You can even pair this with a morning walk or gentle movement to turn the day into a full reset.
A Few Thoughtful Gift Ideas That Do Not Revolve Around Alcohol
If you are more of a gift-giver, consider something that supports connection or play instead of defaulting to wine or candy. You’re not the only one who is drinking less! I myself have been giving non-alcoholic beverages as gifts more and more often and people love it. Here are some other ideas:
Conversation or date-night card decks
A playful or nostalgic game you can enjoy together
A favorite alcohol-free beverage you already know they love
A handwritten note or card that actually says something meaningful
Simple does not mean thoughtless. Often, it means the opposite.
Valentine’s Day does not need alcohol to be celebratory, romantic, or fun. What it does need is intention so when you remove the default, you get to decide how you want the day to feel whether that’s calm and grounded or playful and romantic
Those feelings are available to you, single or not. And they last longer than a glass of champagne ever could.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Lindsay Hennekey is an accredited sober coach who supports high-achieving women in changing their relationship with alcohol in a way that feels realistic and sustainable. After years of navigating her own stop–start drinking pattern, she now helps women build self-trust, steadier nights, and lives that feel good without alcohol. Learn more at lindsayhennekey.com.
