Inspiring Women Who Are Rethinking Drinking Volume 16

/
Keisha is standing in the middle a room. She is wearing a light green top and jeans, and has her hand in her pocket. She is smiling at the camera.

Meet Keisha

It took a little time for our latest Inspiring Woman Keisha to decide she deserved a better life than the one she was living with alcohol - but its a journey she’s glad she made.

Keisha, tell us a little about yourself!

Hi, I’m Keisha! I’m the host of Done with Debauchery, a podcast centred around honest and intimate conversations about sobriety, substance use and personal wellness. I live Downtown Toronto and have a recue dog named Peach. I’m passionate about fashion and beauty, love trying new restaurants and I’m currently on a journey of personal growth!

What was your relationship with alcohol like before you started rethinking drinking?

My relationship with alcohol was almost like one of my personality traits. I started in my teen years and it remained a large part of my life until my early 30’s. I thought that being the fun party girl was part of my identity and I didn’t know who I was without alcohol.

To be honest, the thought of a life where I don’t have to drink alcohol was not even on my radar because almost everyone in my life drank in some capacity. At the same, I was using alcohol as an avoidance technique to stop myself from having to make changes and address/deal with real problems in my life.

What was the moment when you decided to rethink drinking?

For me, it was a collection of small moments but the biggest influence on my decision to get sober was the impact drinking was having on my health – both mental and physical. I never felt good in my body and after drinking I would feel shame and anxiety for days. Every morning after I drank, I would beat myself up and ask myself WHY. Why am I doing this to myself when I know how it makes me feel? It was a long road, with many hangovers and even more tears, but eventually I knew I deserved a better life.

Has it been an easy or a difficult process for you, and why?

Giving up alcohol has been one of the most challenging but most rewarding things I’ve ever done. We live in a world obsessed with alcohol and I felt an enormous amount of shame for not being able to drink “normally”. For a long time, I couldn’t imagine myself in social settings like birthdays or events without alcohol but now I can’t imagine drinking in those same situations.

Where there any tools, podcasts or resources that you found helpful during your process?

I started listening to A Sober Girls Guide Podcast and Sober Curious by Ruby Warrington which both played an important role in my sobriety journey. Then I started buying ‘quit lit’ and found that reading other women’s stories made me feel less alone.

One of the best books and one that everyone rethinking their drinking should read is This Naked Mind by Annie Grace. I’m also a huge advocate for therapy. I did try attending a few AA meetings but found it wasn’t a good fit for me, but I wouldn’t have known that if I didn’t try it.

What are some of the benefits you’ve seen as a result of cutting out alcohol?

The biggest change I’ve experienced is an improvement in my mental health. Since cutting out alcohol, I’ve been able to work through my depression and my anxiety has been significantly reduced. I’m also able to better regulate my emotions and sit in the big emotions I may be feeling. I’m easier to be around because I’m less on edge and less likely to snap or react negatively in the moment to people that I care about.

What is the top piece of advice you’d give to someone who might be rethinking their own drinking?

Follow your intuition and you don’t have to identify as an alcoholic to stop drinking. Anyone can change their relationship with alcohol at any time. But if you feel like your relationship with alcohol is problematic, it probably is and that’s worth exploring further.

What do you wish you’d know when you started your own journey?

I wish that I knew how common what I was feeling was. When you start to revaluate your relationship with alcohol or rethink your drinking, it can feel very isolating, and you feel a lot of shame.

It’s important to know that there is an entire other world out there outside of drinking alcohol and the people in it are waiting to accept you with open arms.

Keep in touch with Keisha on Instagram @donewithdebauchery and check out her Done with Debauchery podcast here (Episode 20 features a discussion with Some Good Clean Fun’s founder, Sarah Kate!)