Rethinking Weekends When You Don’t Need To Drink Anymore

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A woman sits outside beside a lake. She is wearing yoga clothes and doing a side stretch. The sky is cloudy and the light is golden.

I’ve written before that alcohol’s role in my life had been decreasing slowly but steadily well before I decided to give it up altogether. Still, sneaky as alcohol is, it had managed to retain a prominent role in my weekend line-up, which typically looked something like this:

  • Friday 5p.m. happy hour drink

  • Saturday dinner glass of wine or two

  • Sunday afternoon drink on the porch to toast the end of the weekend

By most metrics, this level of drinking would be considered appropriately moderate, or even “healthy” (of course we now know there is really no such thing as healthy drinking; still the myth persists). One of the biggest realizations I’ve had since rethinking drinking is that the “is this a problem” question sets the bar way too low. With limited time, money, energy and attention available to us, shouldn’t we expect more from things we add to our lives than simply “not being a problem?”For me now, the answer to that question is a whole-hearted yes, and alcohol just does not make the cut as I recently learned at a weekend yoga retreat.

Worth it or not worth it?

My former ‘typical weekend’ is a great example. While the 5 p.m. happy hour drink ritual was a nice way to end the week, the alcohol would render me tired and sluggish for the rest of the evening. The drink or two Saturday night might have been social and festive, but it was also enough to disrupt my sleep and trigger ‘hangxiety’. The afternoon cocktail seemed relaxing and indulgent, but also meant I finished the weekend feeling a little drained, rather than bright and rested. The difference now that I don’t drink is subtle but powerful, as these deficiencies are removed and replaced with better things.

Shifting focus to rewarding experiences

Weekend plans take on a different tone now as my focus shifts from socializing over drinks. I go to bed earlier and wake up earlier. I make plans with my friends that don’t necessarily involve a bottle of wine – walks, lunch or a fitness class. And when I do go out for drinks with friends, which I really enjoy, mine are alcohol-free, so I have the experience of socializing and enjoying something pretty and indulgent in my glass – it’s just that now when I get home I might do some yoga. Or bake (true recent story, and the apple crumble was absolutely delicious). Or get sucked into a novel and stay up too late but somehow still wake up in the morning without feeling groggy and gross.

Reconnecting with creativity

When I first realized that my break from alcohol was going to be indefinite rather than just the three months I had originally planned, I worried I would miss out and be bored – or worse, become boring. It turns out the exact opposite is true. Without the lazy default of weekend drinks, I am re-connecting with my creativity in doing things that are truly interesting to me, like a recent yoga retreat which was about the most restorative two days I’ve had in 20 years.

In stark contrast to many events oriented towards women, this was a strictly alcohol-optional experience. Alcohol simply was not central to any aspect of the weekend (not even the dinners it was offered at). Not once did I need to utter “I don’t drink”. I just simply didn’t. I’m not even sure anyone noticed. Like not taking a second serving of salad, my choice to not imbibe was neither controversial nor praised - it was simply irrelevant. This allowed me to experience the weekend with full clarity and presence. It also gave me a glimpse into what it could be like to normalize the choice not to drink, where everyone makes their decisions based on what adds value to their body and their life, and nothing more.

And even better, the mental energy I didn’t even realize I was expending on monitoring my intake and staying sharp while alcohol bounced around my brain, is now available for me to invest in the people around me – truly being present to the simple joy of spending time with those I care about.

No such thing as a typical weekend

So what’s my typical weekend now? Honestly, on the outside, it probably doesn’t look much different than before – I still enjoy my Friday happy hour, but now I enjoy the rest of the evening - with energy and a clear head too. I have more fun than ever selecting drinks for Saturday night but can indulge without fear of paying in anxiety later. And my Sunday afternoons? Those are squarely for napping – no drinks required.