Three ways introverts use alcohol at parties (and why they really don’t need To)
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There’s been a lot of talk in the last few years about the quality of introversion. Sometimes (mis)understood as some combination of quietness, shyness, and not really liking people, the true definition of introversion is simply a tendency to function in a more interior way - with an inner vs outer focus. As such introverts tend to need time alone to recharge their batteries and may feel more naturally comfortable in quieter, smaller social settings.
I’ve been know to play up my introversion with pride, a quiet act of rebellion against the extraverted bias of our outgoing society, but the truth is introversion and extraversion is more a spectrum than set characteristics, with all of us sitting somewhere on the continuum, and the expression will look a little different for all of us. If you have a tendency towards introversion - whether a little or a lot - these tips might help you navigate socialising without a drink in hand.
Fitting in
Introverts tend not to like the spotlight - even when it’s positive. Especially in a large group, many of us would prefer to fly under the radar. This can be a tricky task for a non-drinker in a culture where alcohol is the default. Sipping on Diet Coke while others quaff Sauvignon Blanc can invite questions and curiosity, and while they may be kind and genuine (and on occasion less so, let’s be honest), it can be kind of uncomfortable to feel put on the spot.
This one’s getting easier to solve by the day. With a plethora of non-alcoholic drinks to choose from and increased adoption of ‘damp’ lifestyles where many people are opting in and out of drinking alcohol depending on their needs that day, the number of questions are decreasing. Having a non-alcoholic glass of wine or bottle of beer in hand blends in more easily than the aforementioned pop; in fact, alcohol is so common that many people will just assume yours is “the real thing” and not even question it.
A social lubricant?
This is one of the most pervasive arguments for the ‘necessity’ of alcohol in society - it’s a social lubricant and therefore an essential part of socialising. But is it true? Sure, alcohol removes some inhibitions and numbs us to our emotions, including embarrassment or self-consciousness, but it doesn’t follow that this is good for socialising. For starters, we have inhibitions for a very good reason - to keep us from doing stupid and dangerous things (ever woken up after a boozy party and kicked yourself for blurting something you shouldn't have? You can thank the ‘social lubricant’ for that). Furthermore, there are more social lubricants than just alcohol. Common interests, friendliness, sharing a meal, asking questions, discussing the latest Netflix show - these are all social lubricants that can make starting up conversations easier, without resorting to a toxic chemical for help.
From YOLO to JOMO
You only live once! We all know that binge-drinking is terrible for us and excessive alcohol consumption over time is connected to a host of scary health outcomes. But surely the glass of champagne at New Year’s can’t be that harmful, and introverts need to connect and be part of communal life as much as any human does.
But there’s a competing mindset that introverts naturally thrive at - the lesser known JOMO, or joy of missing out. Whether it means skipping the raucous party and opting to see a movie with a friend or two, or showing up to wish your friend a happy birthday and then making a quick Irish exit once the party’s in full swing, opting out is a valid social strategy. You don’t need to do everything, be everywhere or talk to everyone. Setting boundaries that are appropriate to you and your personality is not only allowed, it’s an act of self-respect and an excellent example to those around you - so embrace it.
Here’s to being authentically ourselves, whether introvert, extravert, or anything in between!
