Faves & Fails: What We Dumped in 2023
/
2023 has seen an onslaught, nay an avalanche, of non-alcoholic products hit the market. The competition is getting fierce, which means the level of innovation is creating incredible options. Unfortunately, there have been a lot of duds that have come our way so here’s a short list of some of them and why we dumped them.
French Bloom - despite attempts by many to persuade us of the quality of this wine, we still didn’t find the taste appealing. Some have likened it to ‘real champagne’ and someone actually said that we obviously have never had real French bubbles, since this was so close to the real deal. We still disagree. Chacun à son goût though. At that price point, it’s not worth the investment. There are better non-alcoholic sparkling wines!
Seedlip - Please, just don’t. It’s not even worth it. There are dozens of better non-alcoholic gin-style spirits on the market. Do your research and find something else to drink. We’re begging you.
Martini 0.0 Sparkling Wine - this was probably the most heinous of bottles we’ve ever tasted. This was an attempt to make sparkling wine, but it tastes nothing like anything alcoholic. Terrible grape juice with carbonation added to it is about the level of liquid in this bottle. Don’t buy it, even if it’s on sale.
Free Spirits Spirit of Milano - sadly, this much hyped bottle did not live up to expectations. The other Free Spirits products are fantastic, but this one didn’t hit the mark for us. The aperitif-style drink has the wrong balance of flavours and is too sweet. Aperitifs often have candied orange notes in them, and this one was almost too candied and slightly waxy. It’s not a terrible bottle, but there are much better alternatives on the market.
Lyres Agave Blanco Spirit - unless you’re a tequila aficianado looking for unique and offbeat flavours in your mocktails, you won’t like this bottle. Most of us are just looking for a tequila-alternative with the simple flavours we recognize (agave, smoke and heat). This was too herbal and slightly off-putting even when mixed into a margarita.
Clever Sangria - the Clever brand can be seen on grocery shelves everywhere, as they were in-market long before the ‘movement’ started. This is a good example though of just becuse it’s non-alcoholic doesn’t mean it’s good. Clever products are lacklustre and more like mixers rather than mocktails. The Sangria isn’t any different.
Lautus Rose - the other styles from Lautus are sensational, but the rose tastes too much like juice. It’s lacking structure and is overly sweet, almost as if muscato has been added post-dealcoholization. There are fans of this bottle, but we only had half a glass before dumping it.
Win Sparkling Rose - Compared to the top sparking rose available, it really falls flat and tastes more like a grape juice than wine.
Curious Elixers - we just can’t wrap our heads around these drinks. Many of them taste like pineapple juice, and others taste completely bitter. They’re better on ice and mixed with something else if you have them on hand, so they’re essentially mixers rather than bottled mocktails.
Ones+ - there are lots of people that enjoy these sparkling wines, but overall, they were thin and had no complexity. We dumped both bottles after only half a glass, and the canned products didn’t get a high review either.
The caveat to all of this is that everyone has their own tastes. Some overall brands of wines we don’t like are Luxton and Petit Chavin, but we know that there are plenty of people who love them and order bottles of their products frequently. So, even though we dumped these drinks, you may find you enjoy them!
