Caleño delivers a delectable taste of the tropics
/South American-inspired spirit is the star of the party
Liam models his pineapple shirt on another OCCASION, pouring his favourite loxton sparkling wine.
It’s Saturday; I’m wearing my pineapple-print short-sleeve shirt, and it’s time to party.
But how does one party without alcohol?
Well, on this sunny Saturday, with Caleño tropical non-alcoholic spirits.
Caleño (Spanish for a resident of Cali, a city in Colombia known for its salsa dancing and nightlife) is a vegan, zero-sugar, low-calorie, alcohol- and gluten-free spirit that encourages consumers to “discover the joy of not drinking.”
It comes in two varieties. Light & Zesty is a gin alternative flavoured with pineapple, papaya, coriander, green cardamom, lemon peel, juniper, and Inca berry. Also known as goldenberry and Peruvian groundcherry, Inca berry tastes like a “healthy sour Skittle,” according to one website, and “almost like a weird-tasting dried cranberry,” according to another. Dark & Zesty is a rum alternative with notes of pineapple, coconut, ginger, black cardamom, vanilla, lime, and kola nut (where cola got its name and, historically at least, its flavour).
Tasked with the enviable job of sampling them, I dove off the deep end. I reserved the penthouse amenity room in my apartment building. I sent out the invitations. I designed the cocktail menu. And in the evening, I dished out snacks, set up the bar, and put on the aforementioned pineapple shirt.
On the menu: Dark and Stormy; Gin and Tonic; Classic Daiquiri with organic, fresh-pressed lime juice, and turbinado simple syrup; and Gimlet, with the same. Also, because I’m an inclusive host, I dusted off bottles of gin and rye I’d forgotten in the back of a cupboard. Mamie Taylor and Old Fashioned were put on the menu, should any of my guests be inclined to imbibe.
They arrived right on time.
Eager to try the new product ⏤ which is simply but handsomely packaged in a stout, round bottle with a wooden twist-off cap, and labelled with an abstract, vaguely Matisse-like design ⏤ they ordered daiquiris and gimlets.
I opened the Caleño Dark & Spicy and poured myself a half-ounce, neat. The first sniff gave coconut with a waft of vanilla. A sip bore the sweetness of kola nut and brown sugar. As with many non-alcoholic spirits, both aroma and flavour were understated. Two ounces went into each daiquiri to make it stand out.
The daiquiri is the ultimate vehicle for test-driving rum. Sugar complements and citrus enhances, exalting the spirit. But while the result looked like a daiquiri and smelled like a daiquiri (albeit coconutty), it didn’t really deliver like a daiquiri.
A half-ounce of Caleño Light & Zesty delivered tropical fruit ⏤ pineapple and papaya, check ⏤ on the nose, and more pineapple and lemon zest on the tongue. Similarly, I used a two-ounce pour per gimlet. Again, it looked and smelled ⏤ but didn’t taste ⏤ like a gimlet. Unfortunately, Caleño proved incapable of holding up its end of the holy sweet-sour-spirit trinity.
Still, the beauty (and danger) of cocktails is that they’re concentrated and therefore quickly consumed. It wasn’t long before my guests were ready to try the other menu options.
Filling a short rocks glass with ice, I poured in two ounces of Light & Zesty and topped it with Fentimans Tonic Water. The Dark and Stormy was made with Dark & Spicy, a splash of lime, and Fentimans Ginger Beer.
While both drinks proved delicious (and were, again, quickly consumed), the Caleño couldn’t fend off the complexity of the Fentimans mixers. Still, the dominant tones of pineapple and coconut, respectively, shone through.
Through the night, laughs were had, snacks were devoured, and drinks were polished off and replenished again and again.
By the end of the night, both bottles of Caleño were empty. And the bottles of gin and rye remained covered in dust. If that isn’t a ringing endorsement, I don’t know what is. I put the booze back in the cupboard to be forgotten once again.
Maybe that’s not how they do it in Cali, but it is one way to party ⏤ no alcohol (or pineapple shirt) required.
// Scroll down for Liam’s recipes
Available through calenodrinks.com in the U.S. and UK.
Caleno is available online through shop.softcrush.com, and for in-person shopping at the following locations in Canada:
B.C.: Simps, Mocktails Alcohol Free Liquor Store,
Alberta: Color de Vino, Kensington Wine Market, Co-op Liquor Store, Vine Arts, Liquor Baron
Manitoba: The Pourium
Ontario: Knyota Drinks, Zero Cocktail Bar
Quebec: Apero A Zero
CALENO RECIPES
Classic Daiquiri Mocktail
2 oz Caleño Dark & Spicy
1 oz simple syrup
¾ oz lime juice
Combine ingredients in a shaker with ice.
Shake.
Fine strain into a chilled coupe, cocktail, or Nick and Nora glass.
Gimlet Mocktail
Ingredients
2 oz Caleño Light & Zesty
1 oz simple syrup
¾ oz lime juice
Preparation
Combine ingredients in a shaker with ice.
Shake.
Fine strain into a chilled coupe, cocktail, or Nick and Nora glass.
Dark and Stormy Mocktail
Ingredients
2 oz Caleño Dark & Spicy
½ oz lime juice
Ginger beer
Preparation
Fill a highball glass with ice.
Add ingredients.
Stir.
Garnish with lime wheel or wedge.
Non-Alcoholic Gin and Tonic With A Twist
Ingredients
2 oz Caleño Light & Zesty
Tonic water
Preparation
Fill a highball glass with ice. Add ingredients and stir. Garnish with Inca berry or pineapple.
Cheers!
Liam Ford, Contributor
Liam is a poet, writer, and editor with a decade of experience as a bartender under his belt. His mission? To find an alcohol-free craft beer that satisfies his craving for hops.
