Inspiring Women Who Are Rethinking Drinking Volume 9
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Meet Lydia
Our latest Inspiring Woman is Lydia Knorr, a nature-loving mother of three who’s a force to behold. Lydia’s rethinking drinking journey has involved a reckoning with what it means to deal with grief, and her beautiful story teaches us that sometimes we have to teach ourselves that it’s okay to feel so that we may gain strength. No matter your setbacks, you can still achieve a glittering success! Read her inspiring story below — she’s been sober for one year and counting!
Tell us a bit about yourself — what do you do for a living? What makes you happy?
I’m a mom to three amazing daughters, aged 20, 22 and 24, with whom I have journeyed through some pivotal life experiences, which included the unexpected and devastating loss of their father in 2013, my cancer diagnosis two years later and my subsequent years-long unhealthy relationship with alcohol.
For over two decades, I worked as a Registered Dietitian and I walked the talk. Nutrition and Fitness were at the cornerstone of my health and well-being. After navigating grief, cancer and alcohol, I was driven to seek a more holistic approach to my daily living that included body, mind and soul work. Marrying my professional health background with my personal experiences, I embarked upon a solo career as a Speaker, Writer and Empowerment Coach, helping people on their Personal Growth and Development journey. I’m a nature junkie, who loves running, hiking and yoga, spending quality time with girlfriends, and soaking in every moment that I can with my three best friends (my daughters). I’ve one special man in my life, a four-legged doodle named Maverick (yes, Top Gun) who brings an unparalleled energy and joy into our home.
To date, I have been sober for just over one year!
“I knew it wouldn’t take a rock-bottom moment or some catastrophic event. I knew it would come because the truth is, drinking to excess was so misaligned with the way I lived the rest of my life, as a very consciously healthy person.”
What role has alcohol played in your life?
What started out as something I did socially in my younger years, developed into an unhealthy coping mechanism following some challenging life events. I became a ‘Grey Area Drinker’, often using alcohol in excess, as a shut off button from my emotions, and afterwards, feeling ashamed and remorseful about it. Over time, it simply morphed into a bad habit, where I was drinking far too much wine, far too often. This lasted for a period of about seven years.
What was the moment you decided to rethink drinking?
Following many failed attempts to ‘dial it back’; many conversations with my daughters; many sleepless, heart-pounding nights; many ‘foggy mornings’; and many promises to myself that ‘today I will do better’, I finally decided to take action.
The thing is, I always knew the day would come. I knew it wouldn’t take a rock-bottom moment or some catastrophic event. I knew it would come because the truth is, drinking to excess was so misaligned with the way I lived the rest of my life, as a very consciously healthy person.
All I needed to do was LOVE myself enough to realize I did not NEED to drink and recognize that giving up alcohol wasn’t actually giving up anything at all.
Has the change in your relationship with alcohol been easy or difficult? What do you think contributed to this for you?
The decision, once made, was easy and I never looked back. I think what made it so, was that I was really in tune with who I was, what I wanted for myself and how I wanted to show up. Adapting a holistic approach to living, specifically the “inner work” and my desire to use that experience to inspire and empower others, helped me realize that the only thing holding me back from fully embracing all of it, was my unhealthy relationship with alcohol. It was like that ‘one dark cloud’ looming over me and I knew that if I could step out from under it, I could walk into an amazing life.
“Adapting a holistic approach to living, specifically the “inner work” and my desire to use that experience to inspire and empower others, helped me realize that the only thing holding me back from fully embracing all of it, was my unhealthy relationship with alcohol.”
Have you learned anything about your health in relation to alcohol that was surprising or that you wish you had known earlier?
Surprisingly, yes! I learned that addiction to alcohol is less about a conscious action to achieve pleasure and more to do with physiology. Alcohol promotes the release of dopamine in the body (which is the brain’s reward centre) and when it’s taken away, depression and cravings occur.
What kind of tools/prompts/books/podcasts did you use to help you on your journey toward rethinking alcohol? Do you still use these tools?
I was referred to This Naked Mind by Annie Grace. The framework for the book centres around conscious living to help you better understand your thought processes and behaviours. It’s written with alcohol in mind but the insights and strategies can be applied to so many areas of your life. It’s an easy, informative and relatable read.
Do you feel apprehensive about sharing your decision to rethink alcohol with others in your family/social group?
Absolutely not. I am more than willing to share my experience because I feel that the more open and vulnerable I am about my journey and steps to sobriety, I can inspire and support others who may be questioning their own relationship with alcohol.
What are some benefits you have experienced since rethinking the place alcohol holds in your life?
I recognize the unconscious beliefs I had around the role alcohol held in my life, such as it being a relaxant, a stress reliever, and shut off button, and am now better able to apply a more conscious approach to my thinking. I embrace all of the “feels”, good or bad, because I know that I am experiencing life with so much more clarity and openness than ever before.
What were some common triggers you noticed that caused you to want to grab a glass of wine and what are you doing now to surf the urge?
“I embrace all of the “feels”, good or bad, because I know that I am experiencing life with so much more clarity and openness than ever before.”
For the last couple of years, it was less about triggers and more about a habit that had formed. It seemed that every day around 4:30-5:00 p.m., I would pour a glass of wine while preparing dinner and then continue consuming until well into the evening. Once I replaced that first glass with something else — usually a sparkling water and juice mixture, I had no real desire to transition into wine later into the evening.
How did removing alcohol from your life contribute to your role as a caregiver and/or as a working professional?
Every single day since October 3, 2020, I’ve been given the gift of waking up as a woman who can say without reservation, that she is living as the truest, most authentic and very best version of herself. It’s given me absolute confidence and validation in the work I do, which is empowering others to live authentically and in a way that feels thriving and purposeful.
With respect to my family, even though my relationship with my daughters was always strong, the sense of stability that they feel inside of our home and the confidence and groundedness they see in me, is unparalleled to anything they knew before. I am more present, strong, supportive and loving than ever and it shows in their desire to simply spend time together and lean on me for advice, wisdom and perspective. Without a doubt, we are an incredibly tight unit and I couldn’t be more grateful about that.
How has your physical activity benefited from removing alcohol?
“The ability to see and think more clearly and feel more deeply, which comes with sobriety, is such a blessing and one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself.”
I was always active, so that hasn’t really changed but where in the past, I used to feel as if I was exercising off the calories, chemicals, and fog from the night before, now I feel cleaner, lighter and healthier without the residue of wine in my system.
What is your top piece of advice that you would give to someone who might want to rethink drinking?
To someone who is contemplating a more sober life, I would say that there really is no downside to that decision. The ability to see and think more clearly and feel more deeply, which comes with sobriety, is such a blessing and one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself.
