Inspiring People Who Are Rethinking Drinking Volume 29
/
Meet Brit
The Saskatchewan mom, entrepreneur and artist traded a tumultous relationship with alcohol for a sober life of balance and peace.
Please introduce yourself to our readers!
I’m Brit. I live in small town Saskatchewan, Canada with my husband, two kids, and 4 dwarf bunnies! I’m the creator of a sober themed website and Instagram page called Sober Flatlander. I also own a construction business alongside my husband, and I’m a macrame artist – a hobby I picked up during the pandemic.
I enjoy reading, writing, astrology, cooking, gardening, and spending time outdoors with my family. I’m an avid plant enthusiast and began collecting plants as a way of rewarding myself in early sobriety. Needless to say, my house is starting to look like a jungle! I have a growing appreciation for all things holistic and have taken an interest in herbalism over the last few years as a way of nurturing my health and recovery.
What was your relationship with alcohol prior to rethinking drinking?
My prior relationship with alcohol was lengthy and abusive. I started drinking around age 13 and struggled with moderation right from the get-go. I questioned my relationship with alcohol early on, and with the help of a drug counselor in my high school, decided to attend a detox centre for youth when I was 16. I did great in detox, but succumbed to peer pressure soon after leaving, and returned to drinking. I was surrounded by alcohol culture while growing up, and it certainly impacted the way I perceived drinking.
From there, I spent several years in a very tumultuous relationship with alcohol. After getting married at 23 and deciding to start a family, I was able to cut back on my intake, but remained a nightly drinker. Throughout both of my pregnancies, I was able to abstain from alcohol, but quickly returned to my old ways with the stress of being a new mom always in my back pocket if I needed to look for an excuse.
Alcohol played a variety of roles in my life: medicine, pain reliever, loneliness killer, stress reducer, fun creator – you name it. I placed alcohol on an untouchable totem pole and I firmly believed I needed it.
What was the moment that you decided to rethink your drinking?
There was certainly a specific moment when I committed to quitting drinking, but the process leading up to it was quite gradual. For years, I had told myself that I’d quit drinking ‘eventually’. Eventually would never come, though. I was waiting for it to get easier, but things just kept getting harder. I had started to develop health concerns that I could no longer blame on anything other than my nightly wine habit. My marriage was struggling as my husband was facing his own addictions, and we were both suffering silently as a result. Workwise, our business wasn’t doing as well as it should have been either. I felt trapped and completely out of options.
Eventually, everything came to a head. My husband and I were forced to be vulnerable with each other and talk openly about our struggles. It was then that we decided to begin our journeys in recovery – separately, but together. We poured out every ounce of alcohol in our house, which was unbelievably liberating and symbolized our acceptance that it was finally time to let go.
Has it been easy or difficult to give up alcohol, and what do you think contributed to that for you?
Giving up alcohol has undoubtedly been the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I’m so grateful for that. Overcoming the biggest and scariest things in our lives often results in exponential growth and healing. That has absolutely been the case for me.
The first year was very trying and what I can only dub a ‘rollercoaster of emotion’. I didn’t know myself. I sacrificed building a healthy and loving relationship with myself for one with alcohol – for almost 20 years!
I found that I actually enjoyed being me, and showed myself grace and patience while I worked through years of suppressed emotions, fears, and pain.
Have you learned anything about your health in relation to alcohol that was surprising or you wish you had known earlier?
I’ve learned so much about how alcohol was affecting my health, my body, my mental processes, my nervous system – everything. When I first became sober, I had a very hard time reading and digesting information surrounding what I had potentially done to harm my health. In active addiction, it was a topic I actively avoided as well. I wanted to continue drinking, so I chose to ignore the truth of how badly I was harming my body.
As the days in my recovery began to add up, I became more comfortable with educating myself on the effects of alcohol. It became clear to me that alcohol wasn’t doing me any favours in terms of coping with anxiety, social anxiety, stress, and depression. I also realized that it hadn’t been helping me sleep. Alcohol exasperated all of the issues I had been relying on it to treat!
“Everything that happened, good and bad, led to me where I’m at today. And today, I’m happy.”
Where there any tools (books, podcasts, etc.) that supported your rethinking process?
I fully committed and tried absolutely every avenue I could think of when it came to supporting myself in early sobriety.
I listened to podcasts – a favourite during my first year was A Sober Girl’s Guide to Sobriety. I read ‘quit lit’ – This Naked Mind spoke to me on every imaginable level. I attended a variety of AA meetings, but couldn’t quite find the right fit for me. Still, I think AA is a must try for anyone in early recovery. I attended a few Al-Anon meetings to help cope with loved ones whose addictions had affected me.
I attended virtual SMART Recovery meetings, which was an amazing outlet and I loved their scientific, brain-based approach to recovery. I spoke to an addictions counselor regularly for the first 12 months. I joined sober Facebook groups and found the sober community on Instagram, which has been such a gift and so beneficial for my own recovery!
What are some benefits you have experienced since cutting out alcohol?
The benefits to quitting drinking have been endless.
My marriage is stronger than it ever has been, and our business is thriving.
My kids, who are still young, are being raised to believe that alcohol is not a necessary part of life. I’m grateful that my husband and I can both lead by example.
My mental and physical health have improved greatly, and I feel balanced and at peace with who I am.
What were some common triggers you noticed that caused you to want to grab a glass of wine and what did you do to surge the urge when it hit?
I think my biggest triggers were stress, boredom, and anxiety. I also equated drinking to having fun, so both negative and positive feelings often led me to use alcohol.
I’m 2.5 years sober now, and I’m happy to report that I don’t have cravings very often anymore. But, throughout the first year of my sobriety, triggers certainly had a big impact on me.
In terms of stress and anxiety, I’ve found that there are plenty of things I can do to lessen those feelings. First and foremost, mindfulness is key. Knowing that feelings are temporary and they will eventually pass with very little involvement on our end is so important.
I like to decompress by having a bath, going for a walk, reading, or doing any kind of exercise. Sometimes, a little retail therapy helps, too!
Learning to have fun without alcohol is a bit of a different story. I had to replace a ‘night out’ with other activities. Ultimately, I found that the things I always enjoyed were still fun while sober – alcohol free drink in hand! The things I used to do strictly as an excuse to drink were no longer fun at all.
Finally, I learned that it’s okay to be bored! It’s a natural emotion that we don’t have to run from, and again, is temporary. Learning to sit with the discomfort that came from any given emotion really served as the catalyst for getting over cravings.
How did removing drinking change your ability to contribute as a partner and friend?
As a mom, I’ve become more present for my kids. Our kids watch us more closely than we think, and I firmly believe that they will develop a more thorough perspective on what alcohol truly is as they get older. Whether they decide to drink or not, I will be there to support them.
In terms of marriage, my husband and I have developed a much stronger bond since we both became sober. We communicate better and things just feel ‘easy’ compared to our previous way of living.
What is the top piece of advice to someone who might want to rethink drinking?
Sobriety begins with changing your perspective on alcohol. Open yourself up to the notion that alcohol may not be benefiting you in the ways that you believe. Seek to understand, and try sobriety on for size – it’s not a life sentence.
What do you wish you had known before you started this journey?
Looking back, there isn’t anything I’d have told my previous self or wished I had done differently. Everything that happened, good and bad, led to me where I’m at today. And today, I’m happy.
Is there anything else you’d like to share with our community?
If you’re struggling, I promise you don’t have to suffer in silence. Reach out – you’ll be surprised with what you’ll find!
Connect with Brit on Instagram @soberflatlander, on Facebook, or at her website.
