Inspiring Women Who Are Rethinking Drinking Volume 23

Meet Sarah!

Our fearless leader at Some Good Clean Fun is spreading the joy of living an alcohol free life.

Our community has grown so much in the last few months. Introduce yourself to our new readers!

I’m the founder and publisher of Some Good Clean Fun, so I spend most of my days planning how to inspire people to live a life with less alcohol - making non-alcoholic cocktails, writing product reviews, talking to brand partners about collaborations, etc. I’m a mom of two kids - one pre-teen, one teenager - plus a dog mom to a hyperactive cockapoo named Mobius. Life is busy! 

What was your relationship with alcohol prior to rethinking drinking?

It’s such a long story, because my relationship changed so much over the years. When I was in university and in my 20s, I just loved to drink and dance and have fun. I was always the last person to leave the bar. Getting married and having children changed that, of course, but I still loved wine and at one point started studying to be an official wine expert/sommelier. Prior to starting down this path in early 2020, I had had two really rough years in abusive jobs and then starting my own small marketing agency. What was previously just ‘drinking a lot of wine’ and loving to be social with it, turned into something darker. It became drinking a whole heck of a lot more wine than most people would say is normal, but becoming more and more miserable with the choice to do that.  

Was there a moment you decided to rethink drinking?

It wasn’t just one moment really, but there were two pivotal moments that turned the tide. The first was when someone in my network recommended the book This Naked Mind and I learned more about what I was putting in my body and how important it is to ‘deprogram’ ourselves from the alcohol narrative. That was in Feb/March 2020. Over the next eight months I worked really hard at cutting it out and was moderately successful. It wasn’t until Christmas that year, as I was pouring a glass of wine at Christmas dinner, when my 11-year old daughter expressed how disappointed she was in my choice to do that. She had seen how hard I was working at being alcohol-free so knew what that glass of wine meant. I did end up drinking it, but it was my last. She made me want to show up as a person who sticks to their promises to themselves, so she’ll do that one day too. 

Has it been easy or difficult to give up alcohol, and what do you think contributed to that for you?

Luckily, most of my early alcohol-free days were during Covid, so there wasn’t a lot of socializing and going out. By the time things reopened I had de-programmed myself from the pressure to have a drink at every event/dinner/gathering. That made it really easy.

Have you learned anything about your health in relation to alcohol that was surprising or you wish you had known earlier?

It was like a mental health Pandora's box. Once I stopped coping with a glass of wine all the time, I was able to start peeling back the onion and dealing with issues head on in an emotionally intelligent way. 

My facial eczema also cleared up permanently and some of my GI issues went away (but not all!). 

What kind of tools did you use to support your rethinking process?

One of the most important things I did was to write down my goal as if it had already happened. I was going through a really really rough time, trying to figure out what to do with my life. I was miserable in every area of life and knew I was so far off my path that I couldn’t find happiness anywhere. I started making a future-tense gratitude list every day that had “I am so happy and grateful now that…: “ written across the top of the page. The first item was always “I live a joyful alcohol-free life.” (or something along those lines). 

I also walked and walked and walked, just like everyone else during Covid, and during those walks I listened to a whole bunch of podcasts: This Naked Mind by Annie Grace, Sober Curious by Ruby Warrington and personal excellence thought-leaders like Jay Shetty. 

Reading other ‘quit lit’ like Quit Like A Woman was also so important because it added more modern perspectives on a topic that has generally been considered either black or white - you’re an alcoholic, or you’re not. 

What are some benefits you have experienced since cutting out alcohol?

Literally everything changed. From my skin to my hair to my happiness with life and better sleep. I didn’t lose weight, but overall I’m a much healthier and happier person. Also my skin. I can’t stress this enough. I aged backwards. My forehead had deep wrinkles that are really starting to smooth out and I don’t have such a struggle with pores and other problems.

What were some common triggers you noticed that caused you to want to grab a glass of wine and what are you doing now to surge the urge when it hits?

It’s always special occasions that try to trip me up. Wedding anniversary, long weekend Friday, going to the cottage. At the beginning that was a HUGE struggle. Now I always have non-alcoholic drinks as backups and it’s way easier after almost three years of being alcohol free. Sometimes I don’t even remember that I want something to drink. I’m much happier being present. 

How did removing drinking from your life contribute to your role as mom and partner?

Life prior to me choosing to be alcohol-free was very chaotic and I was never really present for my kids - either physically, or mentally thinking about how miserable I was when I was with them. Once I stopped drinking wine every evening, things got a lot calmer. My reactions to things became calmer and I was able to juggle a lot more pressure without all the things falling apart. I had the confidence to be ‘that mom’ who can carpool, work, cook and be there for my kids when they need me. My kids and I have a really close bond now. It’s not always ideal, or calm actually, but I ride the ups and downs better and am showing up for them in a better, healthier way.

What is the top piece of advice to someone who might want to rethink drinking?

You don’t need a drink. You need something else, and you just need to find out what that is. It could be something big like resolving past traumas, or something small like 15-minutes of peace and quiet when you get home from work. Or all of the above! Once you realize you don’t need a glass of wine, and you’ve de-programmed yourself from the culture of drinking, it’s a game changer. 

What do you wish you had known before you started this journey?

I wish people talked about alcohol more openly. I wish I had known exactly what it is - that the ethanol in drinks is the same thing you put in your car. I might have thought twice about having so much of it. My very very unpopular opinion is that Alcoholics Anonymous actually created the stigma around alcohol by making it ‘anonymous’. There’s so much shame built right into the name of the organization. I think it prevented me and a lot of other women from talking openly about drinking too much and how addictive it can be. I was lucky I stopped myself before I fell off the cliff. 

What do you want the Some Good Clean Fun community you’ve built to know about the conversation around alcohol and rethinking drinking?

This is not a conversation about sobriety, or about being an alcoholic or not. This is a conversation about wellness - both physical and mental. I discovered a whole new person underneath years of first being “the party girl” to a lonely mom at home with small kids to a professional woman trying to juggle it all. Now I wake up feeling better about life and better about myself. Things aren’t always perfect, but that’s ok, because in the messiness of life there is a whole lot of joy that I don’t ever want to miss again! 

You can connect with Sarah on her Instagram account, @somesomegoodcleanfun.