Inspiring Women Who Are Rethinking Drinking Volume 18

Meet Ariane

Ariane’s rethinking drinking journey began as an act of self-care and self-love.

Tell our readers about yourself, Ariane!

My name is Ariane. I work as a copywriter and social media manager for a Canadian fashion brand. I have also self-published three poetry collections over the past 5 years, and am a mom to two wonderful boys.

What was your relationship with alcohol prior to you rethinking drinking?

Prior to claiming my sobriety, alcohol was a very big part of my life. My entire social life revolved around drinking. Towards the final year, I was drinking alone several times a week, just to ‘take the edge off’ after a day at work.

What was the moment when you decided to rethink drinking?

There was always a bit of concern that I drank more than my friends and family members (much more). I tried to moderate for years, and that often led to me feeling discouraged and overwhelmed. I was hard on myself when I couldn’t string together a few days without drinking.

When I was pregnant with my first son, I stopped drinking entirely, and that was when I had an opportunity to really analyze my habits and how they were harmful to myself and others. Making a lifestyle change to protect and care for my son was automatic and effortless. I questioned why it was so difficult to show myself the same amount of care and love, and that’s when the journey inward really began!

Has it been easy or difficult to give up alcohol, and what do you think contributed to that for you?

I often say that my sons came into my life at the exact moment that I needed them. Becoming a mother gave me a focus and purpose that I didn’t have before. There were absolutely some difficulties along the road. Not drinking exposed some deeply rooted fears. I am actually quite introverted, but all these years I felt extroverted, because the alcohol was activating my inner ‘social butterfly’. Recognizing that I now get fairly drained with too many social activities on the agenda has been a huge adjustment.

What kind of tools (books, podcasts, etc.) have you used to help with your journey?

At the beginning of this alcohol-free journey, I did so much research. I read dozens and dozens of books and was constantly on the hunt for sober leaders/figures to help guide me. One of the books that really changed my life was, Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp.

I am a writer, so journaling and allowing myself a creative outlet for my emotions and struggles along the way was vital.

Have you learned anything about your health in relation to alcohol that surprised you or that you wish you’d known earlier?

I wish I had known the impact drinking had on my mental health. I used alcohol to escape anxious thoughts and feelings, but it only exacerbated the mental health struggles I was facing.

What are some of the benefits you’ve seen as a result of cutting out alcohol?

Oh, so many! The biggest benefit is that I can now trust myself to make good decisions based on my own intuition, insight, and feelings. Instead of escaping my life, I create the life I want to live. I am more intentional with my friends and family, and struggle less with enforcing personal boundaries. Being present for every single moment of my children’s lives is the greatest gift.

What are some common triggers that caused you to want to grab a glass of wine, and what do you do to surf the urge?

Early on, let’s say within the first year of sobriety, people didn’t always understand/respect my decision to not have a glass of wine or a drink. This usually happened as social gatherings. Drink-pushers were a bit of a pain in the beginning, but I feel like I navigated that initial discomfort quite well.

I love live music, but for 20 years, every concert I went to involved drinking. I struggle a bit more now when I go out to shows. I tend to get claustrophobic with too many people around. I’m much more aware of my bodily sensations now when I go out. I just need to follow my own cues and find the most comfortable place, even if that means no more cramming the stage like in the old days!

How did rethinking drinking contribute to your role as a Mom?

I only actively drank 2 months out of my first son’s life (when he was a baby). I remember feeling really guilty and awful when I drank in those months. When I claimed my sobriety 5 years ago, I knew I was making the best choice for myself, and for my children. Sobriety allows me to be a fully present parent. I am teaching them how to regulate their emotions in a healthy way and creating the safest space for them to develop emotionally, physically and mentally.

What is the top piece of advice to someone who might want to rethink drinking?

Read, reach out to people who can support you as you are in the rethinking phase! Since everyone’s relationship to alcohol is unique, find a good therapist that can help you navigate your individual patterns.

What do you wish you had known before starting your own journey?

That there was so much of myself I had yet to learn about. That I would make it. That life would surprise me with ups and downs, but mostly beauty.

You can connect with Ariane on Instagram @arianesigner or check our her website: www.arianesigner.com.