Inspiring Women Who Are Rethinking Drinking Volume 15

Meet Alicia

Our latest Inspiring Woman Alicia decided the best time to rethink drinking was before it became a serious problem. Here’s her story.

Alicia, introduce yourself to our readers!

My name is Alicia. I am an English second language teacher in cegep. I am a married mom of two little boys (4 and 7 years old). I am an avid foodie. I love cooking, eating, taking pictures of food, looking at cookbooks - pretty much obsessed with food and entertaining.

What has your relationship with alcohol been like prior to rethinking drinking?

As a teen and young adult, compared to most, I had no interest in alcohol. My friends weren’t really drinkers, so it made the decision to not drink easy. When I met my husband and we moved into our new house and I got my teaching job, I would start to use alcohol as a way of alleviating my stress. Then I had kids and it seemed like the needed “relaxing” moments became more and more frequent. Then the pandemic hit… I would “treat” myself to alcohol as if it was one of the only ways to unwind stuck in quarantine. I just felt like I needed alcohol to relax or to celebrate.

Was there a particular moment when you decided to rethink drinking?

Last fall, during a getaway at a cottage, I was thinking how I felt that I needed that glass of wine (or as our warped society likes to call it, “mom juice”) to enjoy the moment. I didn’t want to need anything that much. At first, I had decided to take a month off to clear my system, but then realized the need for it was much more intense than I had thought. Many individuals in both sides of my family have struggled with alcoholism and I wanted to make sure I didn’t get to a point where I would hit the bottom of my barrel.

Has it been an easy or a difficult process for you? What do you think contributed to that for you?

I think that daily it has been doable for me since I have a supporting partner who helps me and listens to me. In bigger events, with friends and family, it was much more challenging. Since my struggles were not openly known by everyone, many kept telling me “Ahh just take one drink. Come on! You don’t have a problem.” That kind of narrative would keep my mind on my cravings and often make the events a struggle to get through. Now almost a year sober, most have realised this is my new “normal” and don’t really bother me with questions about why I have chosen this, which helps a lot.

Have you learned anything about your health in relation to alcohol that was surprising to you?

I think the most surprising thing I realised in cutting alcohol out of my life is how quitting has affected my mental health in such a hugely positive way. I was struggling with a bit of depression and when I drank, it would pull me deeper into a negative wave length. Now, I still sometimes struggle but my clear mind allows me to find positive ways of working through my emotions instead of covering them up temporarily. It’s like putting a band aid on a bullet wound. Sure, it hides it for a while, but what’s underneath will never heal if you don’t go through the right process.

What tools, practices and resources have you found helpful through your process of rethinking drinking?

I work out on a regular basis. It reminds me that I have the energy and motivation to get through a lot of tough moments. I also use an app called Gratitude Garden where you focus on 3 positive things that have happened in your day. Thinking positive is a huge help. I recently started using Sober Buddy as a fun way to keep track of my sober count. I love alternative products that allow me to partake in festivities with great drink selections without testing my sobriety, like Sober Carpenter and Atypique.

What are some of the benefits you’ve experienced? How did removing alcohol from your life contribute to your role as a Mom and professional?

Definitely my energy level and my patience surrounding my family has benefitted. When you are hung over and feel like crap on toast, there is no way you can be your best self. I want to be a good role model for my kids and show them a positive way of living a sober life. I think it has allowed me to give my 100% to my kids. I never wanted to be the mom that would lose control, maybe say something inappropriate, not have energy the next day for activities, so by living a sober life I am allowing them to have the best version of their mom.

Are there times when you feel triggered to drink, and what do you do to surf the urge when it strikes?

Often traditions and specific events where alcohol is still part of the equation (mimosas at brunch, glass of wine in front of the fire, beer at the beach) will trigger a bit. But as mentioned earlier, replacing those drinks with new fun alcohol-free selections for me is a great way to transitioning into a new sober tradition.

What is the top piece of advice you’d offer to some at the start of their rethinking drinking journey?

I think the fear people have regarding becoming sober is real. It is like mourning a life you used to have. The fast satisfaction is something that you need to find in other moments of life. Taking a walk, listening to a good song, taking a long bath, treating yourself to a pedicure after a bad day, etc. It is soooooo worth it. Ask yourself why you need to drink? Is that reason so important? In most cases it is not.

Is there anything else you’d like to share about your journey?

You don’t need to have an “out-of-control” life to decide you have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. It does not take away anything from your personality or you as a person. Your sobriety can only allow you to be the best version of yourself.

Keep in touch with Alicia on Instagram @aliciahenri_lavalfoodiefuel