Inspiring Women Who Are Rethinking Drinking Volume 11

Meet Ariel

Our latest Inspiring Woman is Ariel, who decided to ditch her drinks and hit the yoga mat and she hasn’t looked back! Read her story here about how and why she started rethinking drinking.

First, how would you introduce yourself? Tell us a little bit about Ariel!

Hi! My name is Ariel Ng Bourbonnais. I’m an alcohol-free mama, writer, new yoga teacher, infertility awareness advocate, and runner. I love reading, cooking, baking, and eating.

What has your relationship with alcohol been like prior to rethinking drinking?

I’ve always had a complicated relationship with alcohol. I’ve loved it and hated it over the years, swinging back and forth, depending on what was happening in my life. Alcohol has always activated a deep shame within me from a very young age, partly because I’ve done such stupid things while drunk, and partly because of just how it makes my brain react when ingested.

What was the moment you decided to rethink drinking?

When I became a mama. It took some time after that to truly quit, but that’s when I started really thinking about what I was doing to my relationships, body, mind, and spirit. I never had a rock bottom moment, but I definitely had many skipping stone moments across the lake, messing up here, there, and everywhere. 

Has the change in your relationship with alcohol been easy or difficult? What do you think contributed to this for you? 

At first, it was hard. Drinking was my coping mechanism for over 20 years. Now, it’s easy. The decision has been made: I don’t drink. There’s no cognitive dissidence. Another factor that made it easier was completing 200-hours of yoga teacher training. I couldn’t call myself a yoga teacher in good conscience while binge drinking on the weekends. It just didn’t work so I had to decide what kind of person I wanted to be.

Have you learned anything about your health in relation to alcohol that was surprising or that you wish you had known earlier? 

The link to breast cancer frightened me. I had no idea that there was a higher correlation of breast cancer with drinking. I often wonder if drinking affected my fertility. It took me six years to successfully conceive my daughter with two miscarriages and hormone troubles in my 30’s. I’ll never know if there is a direct correlation, but I wish I was more conscious of what I put in my body in my 20’s and 30’s.

What kind of tools/prompts/books/podcasts did you use to help you on your journey toward rethinking alcohol? Do you still use these tools? 

Quit Like a Woman by Holly Whitaker is fantastic. She looks at your whole life holistically, as opposed to just trying to quit drinking as a stand-alone thing. Jessica Jeboult’s A Sober Girls Guide podcast shares success stories of people who have quit drinking. I listened to many episodes when I started running more regularly. Catherine Gray’s The Unexpected Joy of being Sober was the first ‘quit lit’ book that I read. It was engaging and factual and made me think about my drinking in a new way, starting me on a whole new path.

What are some benefits you have experienced since rethinking the place alcohol holds in your life? 

I’m learning what I really like and don’t like. I’m learning to be more vocal about it too and not just do what everyone else is doing. I like myself more than I did when I was drinking. I’m proud of myself and believe in myself more. I like the woman I’ve become and becoming. I’m thankful for the opportunity to change and grow. 

What were some common triggers you noticed that caused you to want to grab a glass of wine and what are you doing now to surf the urge? 

Thankfully, I don’t get the urges like I did in the beginning. Putting my daughter to bed was a trigger. Turning the TV on with my partner was a trigger. Any iota of stress was a trigger. There used to be so many triggers. What really helped was finding AF drinks. I had an Acid League subscription for a while, and it was fantastic. It helped me surf the urges by having something delicious in hand. I still rely on AF drinks when I socialize. I’m thankful to have quit during a time where there are many AF options available. My favourite right now is Lyre’s Orange Spritz with fizzy water and ice. Yum!

How did removing alcohol from your life contribute to your role as a caregiver and/or as a working professional?

I am a much better mama because of it. I’m glad my daughter won’t have memories of me being hungover or inaccessible to her. I want her to have a positive role model. A mama who lives an active lifestyle and doesn’t rely on alcohol in social situations. I’m proud of the mom I’ve become and the life that I’m building for her with my partner.

Has this choice helped your running at all?

I’m training for a half marathon on May 1st and running is so much easier without hangovers. My training is more consistent. I’m more motivated. My mind is clearer and ready for the challenge, even on the snowiest and hardest days of winter running. I don’t give up as easily. I look forward to the mental and physical challenges now. 

What is your top piece of advice that you would give to someone who might want to rethink drinking?

Nothing changes until you decide. There will never be a good time to quit. It’s the hardest/easiest things ever. Once you learn WHY you are picking up a drink, you can figure out how not to. Make the decision to stop and then set yourself up for success by finding the tools that work for you. If you flub, try again. It’s all practice and every sober streak is an opportunity to learn and try again. Don’t give up. You can do it!

Find me here and say hello. I would love to chat with you about your sobriety journey: https://www.instagram.com/yoga_with_ariel/